The Nightmare Before Christmas - GUEST REVIEW

My friend Scott Marks has been gracious to lend me several of his Christmas movie reviews from his amazing website Emulsion Compulsion.

If you haven't visited his site for some thoroughly honest movie reviews, commentary, and image vaults to die for (including a bunch of Christmas related stuff), take a moment to head over this his site and surf - you'll be there for at least 20 minutes max.

For his final review, Scott chose a movie that was being shown in 3-D at the time and is one of my personal... umm... let me just post the review and let my opinion fall by the wayside:

The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993)

Directed by: Henry Selick
Written by: Tim Burton & Michael McDowell
Cast: Danny Elfman, Chris Sarandon, Catherine O’Hara, William Hickey, Glenn Shadix, Paul Reubens, Ken Page, Edward Ivory, Susan McBride, Debi Durst, Greg Proops, Kerry Katz, Randy Crenshaw, Sherwood Ball, Carmen Twillie
Aspect Ratio: 1.66 : 1
Running Time: 76 min.

Rating:



Rod Serling didn't known it at the time, but when he spoke about finding another dimension by turning a key and unlocking the door of imagination he was directly addressing the current state of film exhibition.

I have seen the future of movies and it is 3-D... I hope.

The depth expanding novelty process, which has been around since the twenties, saw it's greatest rise in popularity during the Fifties when it was dusted off as a means to combat the onslaught of television. With the exception of Hitchcock's "Dial 'M' for Murder", no other stereoscopic film bothered to utilize depth as a means of storytelling. Everybody just wanted to test the limits of those uncomfortable cardboard glasses.

Arguably, the single greatest exponents of 3-D gimmickry were the Three Stooges. With all the pies and fingers aimed at the lenses there was little time left to stop and savor narrative and textural nuance.



Cost and public indifference brought a quick end to the vogue. Originally it took two interlocked projectors rigged with polarized lenses that were offset by approximately three-inches to bring 3-D to the screen. Theaters had to be refitted with expensive silver screens and doubling the prints meant doubling the shipping costs.

Barely on life support in the Sixties, 3-D experienced a minor revival over the next two decades. By now polarized lenses had all but vanquished their blue and red predecessors. The new single-strip process looked better than ever and, positioned at the dawn of sequelitis, found steady employment in third-part installments of horror films. ("Jaws 3-D", "Friday the 13th Part III" and "Amityville 3-D".)

(CAPT'S NOTE: Don't forget "Comin' At Ya!" from 1981 - first 3-D movie I ever saw)

Ultimately, 70mm killed 3-D as well as Cinerama. Audiences didn't have to endure tri-panel seams, nose-creasing glasses or higher ticket prices. Oddly enough, the sharper image resolution wasn't what gave the film stock its celebrity, but the fuller range of stereophonic sound.

Too costly to shoot in the wide-gauge process, for a period Hollywood was ordering 70mm blow-ups on every fifth picture slated for release. As much as I adore "Gremlins 2", even I was stunned to see it in the grandeur of 70mm. With the advent of digital sound, 70mm was put on the disabled list.

Not until IMAX combined 70mm and stereoscopic cinematography had the potential for worldwide acceptance shown such promise. Glasses were now replaced by helmets equipped with polarized visors and tiny speakers that sat behind your ears assuring optimum stereophonic separation.

Attempts to incorporate narrative into the otherwise flaccid Disney-esque nature documentaries proved fruitless. The domed dinosaur that sits in Balboa Park is a far cry from what came to be known as the IMAX Experience. The closest San Diego comes to true IMAX exhibition is up the road a piece in Irvine.

The IMAX thrill quickly came and went, until now. The brainiacs at Industrial Light and Magic devised a way in which any 2-D film can be digitally catapulted into the third-dimension. It is expensive and time consuming, but the results are staggering.

The original 2-D negative is scanned into a computer and digitally spruced up. Coming up with the second strip was a laborious process as Nightmare producer Don Hahn explained in an interview with animationartist.com: "If you want to see the original version, you just look with your left eye. But then we have to create a whole right eye version... and that's done by rebuilding the whole movie as a digital picture. In other words, if you have a shot of Jack Skellington, you have to build Jack, and you have to build the background behind him, his house and the snow, or whatever is behind him in a digital world. And then we project a movie on to that digital geometry and then move the digital camera over to the right and re-photograph that for the right eye version."

You still have to wear glasses, but Disney has thankfully devised lightweight and comfortable, if not aggressively unfashionable, lenses.

With its surplus of musical numbers and paucity of plot, I confess to not being a fan of the original Goth-approved Nightmare. In 3-D it's a revelation. The studio promises at least one film a year will be converted to 3-D. I vote for a deep-focus enhancement of "Bambi's" Multiplane Camera pyrotechnics. If not a Disney feature, why not one that influenced Uncle Walt like "Triumph of the Will"?

- - Merry Christmas to everyone and Happy Hannukah to all my Jewish friends. Scott Marks


Thanks Scott for this fantastic review! I hate this film and I think Tim Burton is a totally overrated director who can't tell a good story because the dark themes or special effects backing him up get in the way ("Ed Wood" was the lone exception).


Capt

The Nightmare Before Christmas - GUEST REVIEW

My friend Scott Marks has been gracious to lend me several of his Christmas movie reviews from his amazing website Emulsion Compulsion.

If you haven't visited his site for some thoroughly honest movie reviews, commentary, and image vaults to die for (including a bunch of Christmas related stuff), take a moment to head over this his site and surf - you'll be there for at least 20 minutes max.

For his final review, Scott chose a movie that was being shown in 3-D at the time and is one of my personal... umm... let me just post the review and let my opinion fall by the wayside:

The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993)

Directed by: Henry Selick
Written by: Tim Burton & Michael McDowell
Cast: Danny Elfman, Chris Sarandon, Catherine O’Hara, William Hickey, Glenn Shadix, Paul Reubens, Ken Page, Edward Ivory, Susan McBride, Debi Durst, Greg Proops, Kerry Katz, Randy Crenshaw, Sherwood Ball, Carmen Twillie
Aspect Ratio: 1.66 : 1
Running Time: 76 min.

Rating:



Rod Serling didn't known it at the time, but when he spoke about finding another dimension by turning a key and unlocking the door of imagination he was directly addressing the current state of film exhibition.

I have seen the future of movies and it is 3-D... I hope.

The depth expanding novelty process, which has been around since the twenties, saw it's greatest rise in popularity during the Fifties when it was dusted off as a means to combat the onslaught of television. With the exception of Hitchcock's "Dial 'M' for Murder", no other stereoscopic film bothered to utilize depth as a means of storytelling. Everybody just wanted to test the limits of those uncomfortable cardboard glasses.

Arguably, the single greatest exponents of 3-D gimmickry were the Three Stooges. With all the pies and fingers aimed at the lenses there was little time left to stop and savor narrative and textural nuance.



Cost and public indifference brought a quick end to the vogue. Originally it took two interlocked projectors rigged with polarized lenses that were offset by approximately three-inches to bring 3-D to the screen. Theaters had to be refitted with expensive silver screens and doubling the prints meant doubling the shipping costs.

Barely on life support in the Sixties, 3-D experienced a minor revival over the next two decades. By now polarized lenses had all but vanquished their blue and red predecessors. The new single-strip process looked better than ever and, positioned at the dawn of sequelitis, found steady employment in third-part installments of horror films. ("Jaws 3-D", "Friday the 13th Part III" and "Amityville 3-D".)

(CAPT'S NOTE: Don't forget "Comin' At Ya!" from 1981 - first 3-D movie I ever saw)

Ultimately, 70mm killed 3-D as well as Cinerama. Audiences didn't have to endure tri-panel seams, nose-creasing glasses or higher ticket prices. Oddly enough, the sharper image resolution wasn't what gave the film stock its celebrity, but the fuller range of stereophonic sound.

Too costly to shoot in the wide-gauge process, for a period Hollywood was ordering 70mm blow-ups on every fifth picture slated for release. As much as I adore "Gremlins 2", even I was stunned to see it in the grandeur of 70mm. With the advent of digital sound, 70mm was put on the disabled list.

Not until IMAX combined 70mm and stereoscopic cinematography had the potential for worldwide acceptance shown such promise. Glasses were now replaced by helmets equipped with polarized visors and tiny speakers that sat behind your ears assuring optimum stereophonic separation.

Attempts to incorporate narrative into the otherwise flaccid Disney-esque nature documentaries proved fruitless. The domed dinosaur that sits in Balboa Park is a far cry from what came to be known as the IMAX Experience. The closest San Diego comes to true IMAX exhibition is up the road a piece in Irvine.

The IMAX thrill quickly came and went, until now. The brainiacs at Industrial Light and Magic devised a way in which any 2-D film can be digitally catapulted into the third-dimension. It is expensive and time consuming, but the results are staggering.

The original 2-D negative is scanned into a computer and digitally spruced up. Coming up with the second strip was a laborious process as Nightmare producer Don Hahn explained in an interview with animationartist.com: "If you want to see the original version, you just look with your left eye. But then we have to create a whole right eye version... and that's done by rebuilding the whole movie as a digital picture. In other words, if you have a shot of Jack Skellington, you have to build Jack, and you have to build the background behind him, his house and the snow, or whatever is behind him in a digital world. And then we project a movie on to that digital geometry and then move the digital camera over to the right and re-photograph that for the right eye version."

You still have to wear glasses, but Disney has thankfully devised lightweight and comfortable, if not aggressively unfashionable, lenses.

With its surplus of musical numbers and paucity of plot, I confess to not being a fan of the original Goth-approved Nightmare. In 3-D it's a revelation. The studio promises at least one film a year will be converted to 3-D. I vote for a deep-focus enhancement of "Bambi's" Multiplane Camera pyrotechnics. If not a Disney feature, why not one that influenced Uncle Walt like "Triumph of the Will"?

- - Merry Christmas to everyone and Happy Hannukah to all my Jewish friends. Scott Marks


Thanks Scott for this fantastic review! I hate this film and I think Tim Burton is a totally overrated director who can't tell a good story because the dark themes or special effects backing him up get in the way ("Ed Wood" was the lone exception).


Capt

The Bells of St. Mary's - GUEST REVIEW

We've had many people clamoring for another movie review from our friend Scott Marks... a few people... okay, two people... and one of those was Scott... and the other was me. What's your point?

I've always seen the first 30 minutes or so of this particular movie and chicken out. Maybe Scott's honest opinion will make me want to see the film from beginning to end. On your Marks, get set, go:


The Bells of St. Mary's (1945)

Directed by: Leo McCarey
Written by: Dudley Nichols from a story by Leo McCarey
Starring: Bing Crosby, Ingrid Bergman, Henry Travers, Joan Carroll & Rhys Williams
Running Time: 126 min.
Aspect Ratio: 1.33:1




When people ask if a sequel has ever surpassed its original, "The Godfather II" and "The Bells of St. Mary's" are always the first that come to mind. ("Gremlins II" runs a close third.) Long before the second installment of the Corleone family trilogy, Bell's had the distinction of being the first sequel to be nominated for a best picture Oscar, and coincidentally makes a stellar cameo appearance on the Radio City Musical Hall marquee in "The Godfather".

Fancy yourself a contemporary filmmaker hired to tell the story of Father O'Malley (Matt Damon in the role originated by Bing Crosby), a showbiz priest assigned a position at an urban Parochial school following the former Pastor's mental breakdown brought about after spending years "up to his neck in nuns."

Once established, Father O'Malley falls in love with Sister Mary Benedict (sinful Angeline Jolie as Saintly Ingrid Bergman), a tubercular nun, all the while helping a prostitute's daughter (Mylie Cyrus substituting for Joan Carroll) get an education. In addition to a earning a compulsory G rating, the final cut has to be sprinkled with a handful of musical numbers.

Nowadays, it would probably be easier to film The Bible in real time, but for Leo McCarey the success of "The Bells of St. Mary's" seemed preordained. The story had been with him since childhood. His aunt, Sister Mary Benedict helped build Hollywood's Immaculate Heart Convent and died of typhoid fever. This was also a follow-up to the the director's Paramount smash "Going My Way". McCarey wrote the story before "Going My Way" which was originally intended to be Bells' sequel.

Normally, films about nuns leave me cold. Who wants to see Audrey Hepburn in "The Nun's Story" when it's made clear by the title that sparkling romance will never enter into it? Only Leo McCarey, the man whom, according to Jean Renoir, understood people better than any Hollywood director, could have slipped this material past the censors.

It should come as no surprise that McCarey, the man who first teamed Laurel with Hardy, is able to find delicate humor in the most unlikely of places. O'Malley's arrival at St. Mary's is shown as a calamitous series of sight gags capped off by the original, and funniest, cat-in-the-hat. Other laughs come from a yawning dog in church and a performance of the nativity story by an all-toddler cast.

I know how crazy this must sound to you. Am I actually recommending a film rife with puppy and kitty cutaways, cute kids and Bing Crosby? You bet! Not Der Bingle's biggest fan, he's actually superb in the role. For two hours I believed that Bing Crosby was a munificent soul. That's acting!

In "Going My Way", Bing is up to his big ears in a vat of sentimental goop almost on par with either visit to "Boys Town". "The Bell's of St. Mary's" is anything but cloying. It's insightful, heartfelt and in many ways more uplifting than "It's a Wonderful Life". It even features Henry Travers one film before gaining winged immortality as Capra's Clarence.

An unsuccessful attempt at explaining the gray box grafted over the studio name and copyright date on both the feature and trailer: Even though "Going My Way" brought Paramount needed recognition and bushels of cash, they chose not to pop for the sequel. Made under the banner of McCarey's Rainbow Productions, Inc., the film was distributed by R. K. O.

In 1957, National Telefilm Associates (NTA) obtained the theatrical rights and for years, all prints bore their logo. The U. S. video rights are controlled by Republic Pictures, and while their otherwise immaculate copy not only lacks the introductory R. K. O. tower, the telecine operator was instructed to obliterate all studio mentions.

Finally, this from imdb.com to further underscore the director's intention of making his film a romantic love story. "The production was overseen by a Catholic priest who served as an advisor during the shooting. While the final farewell sequence was being filmed, Bing Crosby and Ingrid Bergman decided to play a prank on him. They asked director Leo McCarey to allow one more take, and, as 'Father O'Malley' and 'Sister Benedict' said their last goodbyes, they embraced in a passionate kiss, while the offscreen priest-advisor jumped up roaring in protest."

- - Scott Marks


Turner Classic Movies is showing "The Bells Of St. Mary's" on Saturday, December 20, 2008 at 2:30 PM EST. Set your TiVos now or ask TCM to e-mail you a reminder for this film.


Capt

The Bells of St. Mary's - GUEST REVIEW

We've had many people clamoring for another movie review from our friend Scott Marks... a few people... okay, two people... and one of those was Scott... and the other was me. What's your point?

I've always seen the first 30 minutes or so of this particular movie and chicken out. Maybe Scott's honest opinion will make me want to see the film from beginning to end. On your Marks, get set, go:


The Bells of St. Mary's (1945)

Directed by: Leo McCarey
Written by: Dudley Nichols from a story by Leo McCarey
Starring: Bing Crosby, Ingrid Bergman, Henry Travers, Joan Carroll & Rhys Williams
Running Time: 126 min.
Aspect Ratio: 1.33:1




When people ask if a sequel has ever surpassed its original, "The Godfather II" and "The Bells of St. Mary's" are always the first that come to mind. ("Gremlins II" runs a close third.) Long before the second installment of the Corleone family trilogy, Bell's had the distinction of being the first sequel to be nominated for a best picture Oscar, and coincidentally makes a stellar cameo appearance on the Radio City Musical Hall marquee in "The Godfather".

Fancy yourself a contemporary filmmaker hired to tell the story of Father O'Malley (Matt Damon in the role originated by Bing Crosby), a showbiz priest assigned a position at an urban Parochial school following the former Pastor's mental breakdown brought about after spending years "up to his neck in nuns."

Once established, Father O'Malley falls in love with Sister Mary Benedict (sinful Angeline Jolie as Saintly Ingrid Bergman), a tubercular nun, all the while helping a prostitute's daughter (Mylie Cyrus substituting for Joan Carroll) get an education. In addition to a earning a compulsory G rating, the final cut has to be sprinkled with a handful of musical numbers.

Nowadays, it would probably be easier to film The Bible in real time, but for Leo McCarey the success of "The Bells of St. Mary's" seemed preordained. The story had been with him since childhood. His aunt, Sister Mary Benedict helped build Hollywood's Immaculate Heart Convent and died of typhoid fever. This was also a follow-up to the the director's Paramount smash "Going My Way". McCarey wrote the story before "Going My Way" which was originally intended to be Bells' sequel.

Normally, films about nuns leave me cold. Who wants to see Audrey Hepburn in "The Nun's Story" when it's made clear by the title that sparkling romance will never enter into it? Only Leo McCarey, the man whom, according to Jean Renoir, understood people better than any Hollywood director, could have slipped this material past the censors.

It should come as no surprise that McCarey, the man who first teamed Laurel with Hardy, is able to find delicate humor in the most unlikely of places. O'Malley's arrival at St. Mary's is shown as a calamitous series of sight gags capped off by the original, and funniest, cat-in-the-hat. Other laughs come from a yawning dog in church and a performance of the nativity story by an all-toddler cast.

I know how crazy this must sound to you. Am I actually recommending a film rife with puppy and kitty cutaways, cute kids and Bing Crosby? You bet! Not Der Bingle's biggest fan, he's actually superb in the role. For two hours I believed that Bing Crosby was a munificent soul. That's acting!

In "Going My Way", Bing is up to his big ears in a vat of sentimental goop almost on par with either visit to "Boys Town". "The Bell's of St. Mary's" is anything but cloying. It's insightful, heartfelt and in many ways more uplifting than "It's a Wonderful Life". It even features Henry Travers one film before gaining winged immortality as Capra's Clarence.

An unsuccessful attempt at explaining the gray box grafted over the studio name and copyright date on both the feature and trailer: Even though "Going My Way" brought Paramount needed recognition and bushels of cash, they chose not to pop for the sequel. Made under the banner of McCarey's Rainbow Productions, Inc., the film was distributed by R. K. O.

In 1957, National Telefilm Associates (NTA) obtained the theatrical rights and for years, all prints bore their logo. The U. S. video rights are controlled by Republic Pictures, and while their otherwise immaculate copy not only lacks the introductory R. K. O. tower, the telecine operator was instructed to obliterate all studio mentions.

Finally, this from imdb.com to further underscore the director's intention of making his film a romantic love story. "The production was overseen by a Catholic priest who served as an advisor during the shooting. While the final farewell sequence was being filmed, Bing Crosby and Ingrid Bergman decided to play a prank on him. They asked director Leo McCarey to allow one more take, and, as 'Father O'Malley' and 'Sister Benedict' said their last goodbyes, they embraced in a passionate kiss, while the offscreen priest-advisor jumped up roaring in protest."

- - Scott Marks


Turner Classic Movies is showing "The Bells Of St. Mary's" on Saturday, December 20, 2008 at 2:30 PM EST. Set your TiVos now or ask TCM to e-mail you a reminder for this film.


Capt

A Christmas Carol (1984) - GUEST REVIEW

Several months ago, I asked Scott Marks, my former film school professor turned San Diego film critic and keeper of one of the most diverse collections of vintage Hollywood memorabilia, for some reviews of Christmas movies to post here at the yuleblog.

Scott is fearlessly honest and doesn't pull punches when it comes to movies. He doesn't write puff pieces (like I do) and share his "one-man's opinion" (stole that term from Irv Kupcinet) for all to share. Without further ado, here is his review of the TV remake of "A Christmas Carol" from 1984. Over to you Scott...


A Christmas Carol (1984)

Directed by Clive Donner
Written by Roger O. Hisron from a short story by Charles Dickens
Starring: George C. Scott, David Warner, Susannah York, Roger Rees, Frank Finlay, Edward Woodward, Michael Gough, Joanne Whalley and Introducing Anthony Walters as "Tiny Tim"
Photographed by Tony Imi in Tele-Vision

Rating:




You know Alis-tair and Ma-goo and Derek Ja-co-bi; Va-nessa Williams played a "Scrooge" named "E-bo-ny." But, do you recall, the an-gri-est Scrooge of them all?

George C. Scott, in the role he was born to play (20 years earlier), stars as Ebeneezer Scrooge in this Classics Illustrated tele-version of Charles Dickens' beloved Christmas staple. By this point in his career, Scott had amassed a big enough steamer trunk filled with tricks where he could stop acting and quickly slip into caricature. Eyes roll, his brow furrows, teeth gnash, the voice thunders and yes, Virginia, there is a blow up scene. In fact there are a few volcanic bursts scattered like uncut diamonds throughout this faithful adaptation.

He first erupts while calling for his beleaguered employee Bob Cratchit (David Warner). Once you've been summoned by a pissed off George C. Scott, all other commands wilt in comparison. He also has a hell of a hard time shaking off the Ghost of Christmas Past (Angela Pleasence). George C.'s mighty mitts are no match for his throbbing temples. Soon we hear that gurgling Scott growl slowly begin to roar, like a tiger starting his engine. His pained anguish can no longer be internalized and he wails, "LEAVE ME!!!" Not exactly a Hardcore "TURN IT OFF!!!," but it kept me humming.

Scott deemed television beneath him, as well he should, and with the exception of a few small screen performances (Fear on Trial, The Price), showed up on set and hit "auto pilot." During his first two ghostly visits, Scott's appearance is pretty much relegated to cutaway shots. The anger must settle and simmer for a few commercial breaks before the grand final venting where he pleads for his life, as all Scrooge's must, with the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come (Michael Carter).

Watch as his face turns into a Fourth of July fireworks show! His agony is so authentic that my head almost exploded from laughter. There are even a few residual chuckles during and after his nice guy epiphany. One would anticipate a crap-eating grin when he tosses that street urchin some goose money on Christmas morning, but when, if ever, have you seen a full-grown Scott jump up and down on a mattress? Turn it on!

IMDB's trivia patrol reports that this is, perhaps, the only version of A Christmas Carol in which Scrooge wears dress-slacks, a dress-shirt and vest instead of the character's customary nightgown, slippers and cap. Legend has it that Scott made a wardrobe call after going ballistic at the very thought of freezing his unmentionables while filming the cold winter exteriors in England.

Aside from Scott's pyrotechnics, this version has a few other things to carol about, most notably a fine supporting cast. What Edward Woodward's Ghost of Christmas Present lacks in girth is more than compensated for by height. At 5' 9" he towers over Scrooge. Woodward is one of the few actors capable of convincingly staring Scott down and one actually feels the menace as he issues Scrooge his cautionary warning. Frank Finlay is perfectly cast as Jacob Marley and David Warner is as kind and compassionate a Bob Cratchit as any committed to film.

CBS obviously pumped some money into the production. They hired Clive Donner (The Caretaker, What's New Pussycat?, Luv) who had already directed Scott in a small screen adaptation of Dickens' Oliver Twist. The cracks in the production design are handsomely plastered by Tony Imi's dark cinematography, but overall the project lacks atmosphere. The filmmaker's idea of ambiance is a smoke machine, a fan and some cobwebs left over from The Munsters.

Then there's cherubic Anthony Walters. In this case, Tim's nickname "Tiny" refers to both his stature and acting ability. Walters can frequently be caught looking off camera for direction. If one more sickening cry of "God bless us all, everyone" came out of this tyke, I'd have beat him to death with the crutch he rode in on. Come to think of it, the over-applied black rings around the kid's eyes make him look as though he already went a few rounds with Mike Tyson. Could this Tim be television's first post modern goth child? Were it not for Scott's impending tirade, I'd suggest you hit stop right after Tiny buys it in the fantasy scene and draw your own cynical conclusions.

- Scott Marks


CAPT'S NOTE: When I worked for Suncoast Motion Picture Company over a decade ago, we were bombarded every Christmas by people asking us when this movie was to be released on home video. Before Christmas, 1995, my store manager attended corporate meetings and relayed this story to me:

The head of Fox Home Video approached the head of Suncoast and wanted to thank him for a great year and "is there anything we can do for you guys?". The Suncoast bigwig asked about the release of this version of "A Christmas Carol".

After several phone calls and wranglings, it was determined that Scott needed to sign off on the release of the video. An overseas phone call was placed to George's home in London - he took the call and was okay with the release - as long as he didn't have to come back to America and sign the papers needed, having just unpacked.

With time running out to get the video released for Christmas, the Fox Home Video guy flew to England (14 hour flight one way) to get the signature needed. Ever hear of a fax machine, George?


Capt

A Christmas Carol (1984) - GUEST REVIEW

Several months ago, I asked Scott Marks, my former film school professor turned San Diego film critic and keeper of one of the most diverse collections of vintage Hollywood memorabilia, for some reviews of Christmas movies to post here at the yuleblog.

Scott is fearlessly honest and doesn't pull punches when it comes to movies. He doesn't write puff pieces (like I do) and share his "one-man's opinion" (stole that term from Irv Kupcinet) for all to share. Without further ado, here is his review of the TV remake of "A Christmas Carol" from 1984. Over to you Scott...


A Christmas Carol (1984)

Directed by Clive Donner
Written by Roger O. Hisron from a short story by Charles Dickens
Starring: George C. Scott, David Warner, Susannah York, Roger Rees, Frank Finlay, Edward Woodward, Michael Gough, Joanne Whalley and Introducing Anthony Walters as "Tiny Tim"
Photographed by Tony Imi in Tele-Vision

Rating:




You know Alis-tair and Ma-goo and Derek Ja-co-bi; Va-nessa Williams played a "Scrooge" named "E-bo-ny." But, do you recall, the an-gri-est Scrooge of them all?

George C. Scott, in the role he was born to play (20 years earlier), stars as Ebeneezer Scrooge in this Classics Illustrated tele-version of Charles Dickens' beloved Christmas staple. By this point in his career, Scott had amassed a big enough steamer trunk filled with tricks where he could stop acting and quickly slip into caricature. Eyes roll, his brow furrows, teeth gnash, the voice thunders and yes, Virginia, there is a blow up scene. In fact there are a few volcanic bursts scattered like uncut diamonds throughout this faithful adaptation.

He first erupts while calling for his beleaguered employee Bob Cratchit (David Warner). Once you've been summoned by a pissed off George C. Scott, all other commands wilt in comparison. He also has a hell of a hard time shaking off the Ghost of Christmas Past (Angela Pleasence). George C.'s mighty mitts are no match for his throbbing temples. Soon we hear that gurgling Scott growl slowly begin to roar, like a tiger starting his engine. His pained anguish can no longer be internalized and he wails, "LEAVE ME!!!" Not exactly a Hardcore "TURN IT OFF!!!," but it kept me humming.

Scott deemed television beneath him, as well he should, and with the exception of a few small screen performances (Fear on Trial, The Price), showed up on set and hit "auto pilot." During his first two ghostly visits, Scott's appearance is pretty much relegated to cutaway shots. The anger must settle and simmer for a few commercial breaks before the grand final venting where he pleads for his life, as all Scrooge's must, with the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come (Michael Carter).

Watch as his face turns into a Fourth of July fireworks show! His agony is so authentic that my head almost exploded from laughter. There are even a few residual chuckles during and after his nice guy epiphany. One would anticipate a crap-eating grin when he tosses that street urchin some goose money on Christmas morning, but when, if ever, have you seen a full-grown Scott jump up and down on a mattress? Turn it on!

IMDB's trivia patrol reports that this is, perhaps, the only version of A Christmas Carol in which Scrooge wears dress-slacks, a dress-shirt and vest instead of the character's customary nightgown, slippers and cap. Legend has it that Scott made a wardrobe call after going ballistic at the very thought of freezing his unmentionables while filming the cold winter exteriors in England.

Aside from Scott's pyrotechnics, this version has a few other things to carol about, most notably a fine supporting cast. What Edward Woodward's Ghost of Christmas Present lacks in girth is more than compensated for by height. At 5' 9" he towers over Scrooge. Woodward is one of the few actors capable of convincingly staring Scott down and one actually feels the menace as he issues Scrooge his cautionary warning. Frank Finlay is perfectly cast as Jacob Marley and David Warner is as kind and compassionate a Bob Cratchit as any committed to film.

CBS obviously pumped some money into the production. They hired Clive Donner (The Caretaker, What's New Pussycat?, Luv) who had already directed Scott in a small screen adaptation of Dickens' Oliver Twist. The cracks in the production design are handsomely plastered by Tony Imi's dark cinematography, but overall the project lacks atmosphere. The filmmaker's idea of ambiance is a smoke machine, a fan and some cobwebs left over from The Munsters.

Then there's cherubic Anthony Walters. In this case, Tim's nickname "Tiny" refers to both his stature and acting ability. Walters can frequently be caught looking off camera for direction. If one more sickening cry of "God bless us all, everyone" came out of this tyke, I'd have beat him to death with the crutch he rode in on. Come to think of it, the over-applied black rings around the kid's eyes make him look as though he already went a few rounds with Mike Tyson. Could this Tim be television's first post modern goth child? Were it not for Scott's impending tirade, I'd suggest you hit stop right after Tiny buys it in the fantasy scene and draw your own cynical conclusions.

- Scott Marks


CAPT'S NOTE: When I worked for Suncoast Motion Picture Company over a decade ago, we were bombarded every Christmas by people asking us when this movie was to be released on home video. Before Christmas, 1995, my store manager attended corporate meetings and relayed this story to me:

The head of Fox Home Video approached the head of Suncoast and wanted to thank him for a great year and "is there anything we can do for you guys?". The Suncoast bigwig asked about the release of this version of "A Christmas Carol".

After several phone calls and wranglings, it was determined that Scott needed to sign off on the release of the video. An overseas phone call was placed to George's home in London - he took the call and was okay with the release - as long as he didn't have to come back to America and sign the papers needed, having just unpacked.

With time running out to get the video released for Christmas, the Fox Home Video guy flew to England (14 hour flight one way) to get the signature needed. Ever hear of a fax machine, George?


Capt

Al Kooper presents The Fourth Annual Kapusta Kristmas Album

Back in my film school days at Columbia College in Chicago, I took a class entitled "History Of Cinema" and met a teacher named Scott Marks. Scott was the first teacher who got all my inside jokes, pop-culture references, and shared a love for movies, Jerry Lewis, Sammy Davis, Jr., and a certain Chicago newspaper columnist named Irv Kupcinet (don't ask...).

Scott gave me a cassette tape (which I still own - it survived the great Toledo fire) that contained several outtakes of celebrities. For the first time in my life, I heard Barry White (NSFW) trying to record a commercial for Paul Quinn College, Linda McCartney's isolated "Hey Jude" mike from Knebworth in 1990, and an amazing outtake from Martin & Lewis (NSFW) recording a radio commercial for the film "The Caddy".

It was raw, uncensored, and excruciatingly funny. I was hooked. I began searching offline and online, trying to find new celeb outtakes, cleaner copies of the outtakes, and in some instances, the ORIGINALS of the outtakes (like the album you see here).

There once existed in this country a thriving market for "party records" - pressed privately on 78 RPMs and sold under-the-counter. Many artists like Kay Martin, Belle Barth, Woody Woodbury, Redd Foxx, and Rusty Warren all had a booming business with these type of albums.

Another person from this time was Kermit Schaefer - the man responsible for all those "Pardon My Blooper" albums over the years. Schaefer periodically had authentic outtakes on his collections but almost ALL were horrible re-creations - some based on hearsay and myth that Kermit perpetuated as fact. Just ask Uncle Don.

When 78's died out and LPs took over this market, celebrities also found a way into the genre. The Martin & Lewis outtake was sold on a party album entitled "The Caddie XXX". Dean reportedly spent thousands of dollars trying to buy any and all copies of this album to keep them out of circulation.

(courtesy of Scott Marks)

Bing Crosby was one of the first performers to pre-record his radio shows (most notably "The Kraft Music Hall Show") with the advent of tape recorders in the 1940s. Several outtakes were compiled on a famous 78 RPM party record entitled "Crosby Blows His Top". Among these gaffes was this little gem from which the album derived its name:


Bing Crosby & Andrews Sisters - Jingle Bells (blow-up)


Flash forward to 1958. A 14 yr. old lad by the name of Al Kooper contributed a mean guitar riff on The Royal Teens lone hit "Short-Shorts" ("Who wears short shorts?). When he was 21, he moved to Greenwich Village in New York City where he met Bob Dylan. When Dylan was going electric, Kooper helped out by playing organ on Dylan's 1965 seminal hit "Like A Rolling Stone" and at the infamous Newport Folk Festival concert.

Kooper went on to form The Blues Project and Blood, Sweat, and Tears. He was also responsible for the music behind the Hanna-Barbera Saturday morning classic "The Banana Splits" while helping stellar acts such as The Rolling Stones, B.B. King, The Who, Jimi Hendrix, George Harrison, and Cream.

Kooper also found the time to release 11 albums of his own since 1968 and discovered a band named Lynyrd Skynyrd, producing their first three albums. He is also an author - "Backstage Passes: Rock 'n' Roll Life In The Sixties", written in 1977, is all about the perils of the music industry. This book was updated in 1998 under the title "Backstage Passes & Backstabbing Bastards: Memoirs of a Rock 'N' Roll Survivor".

Some time in the 1970s (long after the party records market died out), Kooper decided to create something special for his family & friends at Christmas. To quote Al:

I collected star bloopers and just extraneous humorous audio bytes. I had built up a network of wackos who sent me good stuff. One Christmas, I decided to edit it all together, press up LPs and send them out for Christmas. This was pre-CD - mid 1970s. I called it 'The Kapusta Kristmas Album' after an Ernie Kovacs character, The Kapusta Kid. I pressed about 300 and it was greatly appreciated by my mailing list."

Over the years, five more were made. Each one of these six albums are all much sought after on eBay, GEMM, Musicstack, you name it. I had previously missed out on two albums in the past and when this was offered on eBay as "Buy It Now", I jumped on the chance to get it.


Recorded around the time Kooper was writing the musical score for the 1980s TV show "Crime Story" (1986-1988), this album culls many obscure audio oddities, vulgar and profane language from celebrities and regular Joes, and sometimes unintentionally hilarious tracks not meant for full public consumption.

Many of the tracks from these albums over the years have filtered down from vinyl to cassette to MP3. Many have been edited horribly, come from third or fourth generation sources, and posted online in different forums and P2P programs.

One online music company packaged a bunch of these together and named them "Celebrities At Their Worst" and got more than enough shouts of huzzah for the "courage" for releasing these. (If you get through to someone there, let me know - they haven't answered their phone in over two years).

Sorry... if it wasn't for these Kooper albums, they would have had zilch.

Al began the whole underground of sharing celebrity outbursts like the infamous outtakes (NSFW) by The Troggs that inspired the film "This Is Spinal Tap", Paul Anka's backstage rant (NSFW) ("the guys get SHIRTS!"), or the Beach Boys astounding "Help Me Rhonda" (NSFW) recording session tapes.

I gave serious thought about posting this album when I purchased it. However, I read Al's disclaimer on the back on the album cover and decided it's a Kristmas album, not a Christmas album - therefore, it won't be posted. REPEAT: It won't be posted (don't ask). I'll play it from time to time and laugh outrageously in the privacy of my own home - per Kooper's instructions.

If anyone has any of the other five albums, please let us know. I would love to complete the set.


Capt

Al Kooper presents The Fourth Annual Kapusta Kristmas Album

Back in my film school days at Columbia College in Chicago, I took a class entitled "History Of Cinema" and met a teacher named Scott Marks. Scott was the first teacher who got all my inside jokes, pop-culture references, and shared a love for movies, Jerry Lewis, Sammy Davis, Jr., and a certain Chicago newspaper columnist named Irv Kupcinet (don't ask...).

Scott gave me a cassette tape (which I still own - it survived the great Toledo fire) that contained several outtakes of celebrities. For the first time in my life, I heard Barry White (NSFW) trying to record a commercial for Paul Quinn College, Linda McCartney's isolated "Hey Jude" mike from Knebworth in 1990, and an amazing outtake from Martin & Lewis (NSFW) recording a radio commercial for the film "The Caddy".

It was raw, uncensored, and excruciatingly funny. I was hooked. I began searching offline and online, trying to find new celeb outtakes, cleaner copies of the outtakes, and in some instances, the ORIGINALS of the outtakes (like the album you see here).

There once existed in this country a thriving market for "party records" - pressed privately on 78 RPMs and sold under-the-counter. Many artists like Kay Martin, Belle Barth, Woody Woodbury, Redd Foxx, and Rusty Warren all had a booming business with these type of albums.

Another person from this time was Kermit Schaefer - the man responsible for all those "Pardon My Blooper" albums over the years. Schaefer periodically had authentic outtakes on his collections but almost ALL were horrible re-creations - some based on hearsay and myth that Kermit perpetuated as fact. Just ask Uncle Don.

When 78's died out and LPs took over this market, celebrities also found a way into the genre. The Martin & Lewis outtake was sold on a party album entitled "The Caddie XXX". Dean reportedly spent thousands of dollars trying to buy any and all copies of this album to keep them out of circulation.

(courtesy of Scott Marks)

Bing Crosby was one of the first performers to pre-record his radio shows (most notably "The Kraft Music Hall Show") with the advent of tape recorders in the 1940s. Several outtakes were compiled on a famous 78 RPM party record entitled "Crosby Blows His Top". Among these gaffes was this little gem from which the album derived its name:


Bing Crosby & Andrews Sisters - Jingle Bells (blow-up)


Flash forward to 1958. A 14 yr. old lad by the name of Al Kooper contributed a mean guitar riff on The Royal Teens lone hit "Short-Shorts" ("Who wears short shorts?). When he was 21, he moved to Greenwich Village in New York City where he met Bob Dylan. When Dylan was going electric, Kooper helped out by playing organ on Dylan's 1965 seminal hit "Like A Rolling Stone" and at the infamous Newport Folk Festival concert.

Kooper went on to form The Blues Project and Blood, Sweat, and Tears. He was also responsible for the music behind the Hanna-Barbera Saturday morning classic "The Banana Splits" while helping stellar acts such as The Rolling Stones, B.B. King, The Who, Jimi Hendrix, George Harrison, and Cream.

Kooper also found the time to release 11 albums of his own since 1968 and discovered a band named Lynyrd Skynyrd, producing their first three albums. He is also an author - "Backstage Passes: Rock 'n' Roll Life In The Sixties", written in 1977, is all about the perils of the music industry. This book was updated in 1998 under the title "Backstage Passes & Backstabbing Bastards: Memoirs of a Rock 'N' Roll Survivor".

Some time in the 1970s (long after the party records market died out), Kooper decided to create something special for his family & friends at Christmas. To quote Al:

I collected star bloopers and just extraneous humorous audio bytes. I had built up a network of wackos who sent me good stuff. One Christmas, I decided to edit it all together, press up LPs and send them out for Christmas. This was pre-CD - mid 1970s. I called it 'The Kapusta Kristmas Album' after an Ernie Kovacs character, The Kapusta Kid. I pressed about 300 and it was greatly appreciated by my mailing list."

Over the years, five more were made. Each one of these six albums are all much sought after on eBay, GEMM, Musicstack, you name it. I had previously missed out on two albums in the past and when this was offered on eBay as "Buy It Now", I jumped on the chance to get it.


Recorded around the time Kooper was writing the musical score for the 1980s TV show "Crime Story" (1986-1988), this album culls many obscure audio oddities, vulgar and profane language from celebrities and regular Joes, and sometimes unintentionally hilarious tracks not meant for full public consumption.

Many of the tracks from these albums over the years have filtered down from vinyl to cassette to MP3. Many have been edited horribly, come from third or fourth generation sources, and posted online in different forums and P2P programs.

One online music company packaged a bunch of these together and named them "Celebrities At Their Worst" and got more than enough shouts of huzzah for the "courage" for releasing these. (If you get through to someone there, let me know - they haven't answered their phone in over two years).

Sorry... if it wasn't for these Kooper albums, they would have had zilch.

Al began the whole underground of sharing celebrity outbursts like the infamous outtakes (NSFW) by The Troggs that inspired the film "This Is Spinal Tap", Paul Anka's backstage rant (NSFW) ("the guys get SHIRTS!"), or the Beach Boys astounding "Help Me Rhonda" (NSFW) recording session tapes.

I gave serious thought about posting this album when I purchased it. However, I read Al's disclaimer on the back on the album cover and decided it's a Kristmas album, not a Christmas album - therefore, it won't be posted. REPEAT: It won't be posted (don't ask). I'll play it from time to time and laugh outrageously in the privacy of my own home - per Kooper's instructions.

If anyone has any of the other five albums, please let us know. I would love to complete the set.


Capt

Christmas on Labor Day Weekend (for some!)

I would be remiss if I didn't mention a major event in some people's homes this weekend. The 43rd Annual Jerry Lewis MDA Telethon will broadcast for 22 hours live from Las Vegas, Nevada.

Watching to see what celebrity shows up on the telethon is a huge draw and helping kids is always a plus. But let's get serious. Most tune in to see what kind of shenanigans Jerry is gonna pull next:



My friend Scott Marks runs an amazing blog entitled Emulsion Compulsion - a vast home of movie reviews, rants, and quite possibly one of the most extensive image vaults on the web (yes, including Christmas images!).

Scott is probably the biggest Jerry Lewis fan on the planet. He has an extensive collection of Jerry memorabilia including a rare 1976 "CBer's for Jerry" patch that was donated to him by yours truly. He has watched every Jerry movie extensively (no, not "The Day The Clown Cried") and not only has he interviewed Jerry more than once, he once babysat for his daughter Danielle!

Last year (as in years past), he stayed up every single hour of the telethon and blogged as he went. It was in those wee small hours of the morning that Scott thought he heard something on the way to the kitchen:



It's this kind of danger and spontaneity combined with the combustible Lewis that makes Scott going back for more. This is his Christmas.

22 1/2 hours of B-list celebrities (Julius LaRosa, Norm Crosby), appeals from Tony Orlando and Charo (whose face so botoxed it looks like she stood in a 95 MPH windstorm and lost), and an aging, broke Ed McMahon yelling "TIMPANI!".

Stop by Scott's blog this weekend to offer encouragement and/or professional help. While you're at it, why not take a moment to stop by and donate some $$$$ to Jerry's kids?


Walk on... walk on... with hope in your heart...


Capt

Christmas on Labor Day Weekend (for some!)

I would be remiss if I didn't mention a major event in some people's homes this weekend. The 43rd Annual Jerry Lewis MDA Telethon will broadcast for 22 hours live from Las Vegas, Nevada.

Watching to see what celebrity shows up on the telethon is a huge draw and helping kids is always a plus. But let's get serious. Most tune in to see what kind of shenanigans Jerry is gonna pull next:



My friend Scott Marks runs an amazing blog entitled Emulsion Compulsion - a vast home of movie reviews, rants, and quite possibly one of the most extensive image vaults on the web (yes, including Christmas images!).

Scott is probably the biggest Jerry Lewis fan on the planet. He has an extensive collection of Jerry memorabilia including a rare 1976 "CBer's for Jerry" patch that was donated to him by yours truly. He has watched every Jerry movie extensively (no, not "The Day The Clown Cried") and not only has he interviewed Jerry more than once, he once babysat for his daughter Danielle!

Last year (as in years past), he stayed up every single hour of the telethon and blogged as he went. It was in those wee small hours of the morning that Scott thought he heard something on the way to the kitchen:



It's this kind of danger and spontaneity combined with the combustible Lewis that makes Scott going back for more. This is his Christmas.

22 1/2 hours of B-list celebrities (Julius LaRosa, Norm Crosby), appeals from Tony Orlando and Charo (whose face so botoxed it looks like she stood in a 95 MPH windstorm and lost), and an aging, broke Ed McMahon yelling "TIMPANI!".

Stop by Scott's blog this weekend to offer encouragement and/or professional help. While you're at it, why not take a moment to stop by and donate some $$$$ to Jerry's kids?


Walk on... walk on... with hope in your heart...


Capt

Five golden LINKS...

If you're getting bored with Christmas (or already are), here are five places to visit on the web that might shake you up out of the Christmas doldrums:

1.) Jeffco Christmas

My Canadian brother Jeff has had albums and podcasts for your listening pleasure all month. If that's not enough, he has just posted his annual Christmas compilation "Christmas Turkeys 10" - a veritable feast of Christmas music that will make you smile, laugh, vomit, have convulsions, whatever. Still not convinced? Jeff's posted some of your favorite Christmas songs sung by the cast of "The Facts of Life"!

2.) FaLaLaLaLa.com

This has been the place to be at Christmas for three years running. It's the final weekend over at the King Of Jingaling's palace. There's going to be some incredible surprises in store. Other like minded Christmas music people will be gathering to bask in the glow of Christmas memories via music. If you can't find something to read, laugh at, listen to, and offer yourself in their easy to navigate forums, then check your pulse.

3.) Ernie (Not Bert)

Ernie doesn't sleep. Seriously. This guy has been burning the midnight oil, the drapes, the furniture, and has presented almost 200 Christmas albums this year! To make matters better, the albums Ernie's sharing aren't the low quality titles I've been offering... he's got some of the best Christmas music on the web! Get over to Ernie's place, browse around, and be sure to check out the outstanding photos Ernie takes as well!

4.) Queer Music Heritage

JD Doyle is at it again... He's just posted THREE complete Christmas radio shows - all new for 2006! Add these three shows to the TWELVE he's got archived at his web site and that's... carry the one... well, that's A LOT of Christmas shows! JD compiles Christmas music from gay and lesbian artists and presents them with in-depth interviews and vintage sound clips. Take a listen and tell Doyle the Captain sent you!

5.) Scott Marks podcast

Scott Marks has held many titles: film school professor (I took two of his courses), movie revival house manager, film critic and curator. He now lives in San Diego and has a regular gig on "Film Club Of The Air" on KPBS 97.7 FM. He recently went into the studio to record a podcast on two of his favorite holiday movies. For more info and to stream the podcast, click on the link above. To download the podcast, click here.


Happy surfing...


Capt

Five golden LINKS...

If you're getting bored with Christmas (or already are), here are five places to visit on the web that might shake you up out of the Christmas doldrums:

1.) Jeffco Christmas

My Canadian brother Jeff has had albums and podcasts for your listening pleasure all month. If that's not enough, he has just posted his annual Christmas compilation "Christmas Turkeys 10" - a veritable feast of Christmas music that will make you smile, laugh, vomit, have convulsions, whatever. Still not convinced? Jeff's posted some of your favorite Christmas songs sung by the cast of "The Facts of Life"!

2.) FaLaLaLaLa.com

This has been the place to be at Christmas for three years running. It's the final weekend over at the King Of Jingaling's palace. There's going to be some incredible surprises in store. Other like minded Christmas music people will be gathering to bask in the glow of Christmas memories via music. If you can't find something to read, laugh at, listen to, and offer yourself in their easy to navigate forums, then check your pulse.

3.) Ernie (Not Bert)

Ernie doesn't sleep. Seriously. This guy has been burning the midnight oil, the drapes, the furniture, and has presented almost 200 Christmas albums this year! To make matters better, the albums Ernie's sharing aren't the low quality titles I've been offering... he's got some of the best Christmas music on the web! Get over to Ernie's place, browse around, and be sure to check out the outstanding photos Ernie takes as well!

4.) Queer Music Heritage

JD Doyle is at it again... He's just posted THREE complete Christmas radio shows - all new for 2006! Add these three shows to the TWELVE he's got archived at his web site and that's... carry the one... well, that's A LOT of Christmas shows! JD compiles Christmas music from gay and lesbian artists and presents them with in-depth interviews and vintage sound clips. Take a listen and tell Doyle the Captain sent you!

5.) Scott Marks podcast

Scott Marks has held many titles: film school professor (I took two of his courses), movie revival house manager, film critic and curator. He now lives in San Diego and has a regular gig on "Film Club Of The Air" on KPBS 97.7 FM. He recently went into the studio to record a podcast on two of his favorite holiday movies. For more info and to stream the podcast, click on the link above. To download the podcast, click here.


Happy surfing...


Capt